My Diagnosis Story, Part 3

Unfortunately, my finding a psychologist to work with was far more difficult than it should have been. My doctor did refer me to at least one office, and that office contacted me without ever responding to my doctor. They insisted that I needed to make an appointment immediately because they "had an unexpected opening" and didn't know how long I'd have to wait if I didn't take it. They had my information from my doctor, so I blindly trusted them.

That was stupid.

As it turned out, this office was not in my insurance network. Or any insurance network, for that matter, which is probably why they are so underhanded about grasping at new clients. Because they had never responded to my doctor's office, she had no idea that they weren't in network. And the psychologist conveniently didn't mention this to me, either - until 55 minutes into an hour-long appointment. Oh yeah, and they made me pay $150 for this appointment before I could leave. Not to mention the fact that the psychologist I saw outright told me that I exhibited many strong symptoms of ADHD - some, like impulsive decision making, I hadn't even thought of before - but that he couldn't diagnose me without giving me a $1,000 test. Which likely wouldn't be covered by my insurance, or if it was, I'd still be looking at $400-600 out of pocket.

Obviously I don't have that kind of money for some ADHD test. Who does, nowadays?

Beyond that, he said that he really thought I would benefit from seeing a psychologist regularly, even if I had ADHD. Which is all fine and good, but not for $150 an hour! That's about an inch short of rape, in my opinion. And when I called my insurance company to put in the claim later that day, and found out that I wouldn't get a penny of that first $150 back because the practice was out of network, I cried. That's right, I'm nearly 30 years old and I cried. Because $150 isn't chump change and I'd literally just thrown it away.

I was also angry. Angry at this psychologist and the office in general, for being so underhanded. Angry with my doctor as well, until I found out that the psychologist's office had ignored her request for them to reply to her referral before contacting me.

So angry that I began to wonder if I even cared anymore that I had a problem.

So angry that I remembered my distrust of doctors in general and felt sick over the fact that I'd even bothered trying to get help.

So angry that I began having serious second thoughts about going through with this, any of it.